Swiss spy agency warns U.S., Britain about huge data leak

ZURICH (Reuters) – Secret information on counter-terrorism shared by foreign governments may have been compromised by a massive data theft by a senior IT technician for the NDB, Switzerland‘s intelligence service, European national security sources said.

Intelligence agencies in the United States and Britain are among those who were warned by Swiss authorities that their data could have been put in jeopardy, said one of the sources, who asked for anonymity when discussing sensitive information.

Swiss authorities arrested the technician suspected in the data theft last summer amid signs he was acting suspiciously. He later was released from prison while a criminal investigation by the office of Switzerland’s Federal Attorney General continues, according to two sources familiar with the case.

The suspect’s name was not made public. Swiss authorities believe he intended to sell the stolen data to foreign officials or commercial buyers.

A European security source said investigators now believe the suspect became disgruntled because he felt he was being ignored and his advice on operating the data systems was not being taken seriously.

Swiss news reports and the sources close to the investigation said that investigators believe the technician downloaded terrabytes, running into hundreds of thousands or even millions of printed pages, of classified material from the Swiss intelligence service’s servers onto portable hard drives. He then carried them out of government buildings in a backpack.

One of the sources familiar with the investigation said that intelligence services like the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency and Britain’s Secret Intelligence Service, also known as MI6, routinely shared data on counter-terrorism and other issues with the NDB. Swiss authorities informed U.S. and British agencies that such data could have been compromised, the source said.

News of the theft of intelligence data surfaced with Switzerland’s reputation for secrecy and discretion in government and financial affairs already under assault.

Swiss authorities have been investigating, and in some cases have charged, whistleblowers and some European government officials for using criminal methods to acquire confidential financial data about suspected tax evaders from Switzerland’s traditionally secretive banks.

The suspect in the spy data theft worked for the NDB, or Federal Intelligence Service, which is part of Switzerland’s Defense Ministry, for about eight years.

He was described by a source close to the investigation as a “very talented” technician and senior enough to have “administrator rights,” giving him unrestricted access to most or all of the NDB’s networks, including those holding vast caches of secret data.

Swiss investigators seized portable storage devices containing the stolen data after they arrested the suspect, according to the sources. At this point, they said, Swiss authorities believe that the suspect was arrested and the stolen data was impounded before he had an opportunity to sell it.

However, one source said that Swiss investigators could not be positive the suspect did not sell or pass on any of the information before his arrest, which is why Swiss authorities felt obliged to notify foreign intelligence partners their information may have been compromised.

Representatives of U.S. and British intelligence agencies had no immediate response to detailed queries about the case submitted by Reuters, although one U.S. official said he was unaware of the case.

SECURITY PROCEDURES QUESTIONED

Swiss Attorney General Michael Lauber and a senior prosecutor, Carolo Bulletti, announced in September that they were investigating the data theft and its alleged perpetrator. A spokeswoman for the attorney general said she was prohibited by law from disclosing the suspect’s identity.

A spokesman for the NDB said he could not comment on the investigation.

At their September press conference, Swiss officials indicated that they believed the suspect intended to sell the data he stole to foreign countries. They did not talk about the possible compromise of information shared with the NDB by U.S. and British intelligence.

A European source familiar with the case said it raised serious questions about security procedures and structures at the NDB, a relatively new agency which combined the functions of predecessor agencies that separately conducted foreign and domestic intelligence activities for the Swiss government.

The source said that under the NDB’s present structure, its human resources staff – responsible for, among other things, ensuring the reliability and trustworthiness of the agency’s personnel – is lumped together organizationally with the agency’s information technology division. This potentially made it difficult or confusing for the subdivision’s personnel to investigate themselves, the source said.

According to the source, investigators now believe that in the months before his arrest, the data theft suspect displayed warning signs that should have been spotted by his bosses or by security officials.

The source said that the suspect became so disgruntled earlier this year that he stopped showing up for work.

However, according to Swiss news reports, the NDB did not realize that something was amiss until the largest Swiss bank, UBS, expressed concern to authorities about a potentially suspicious attempt to set up a new numbered bank account, which then was traced to the NDB technician.

A Swiss parliamentary committee is now conducting its own investigation into the data theft and is expected to report next spring. Investigators are known to be concerned that the NDB lacks investigative powers, such as to search premises or conduct wiretaps, which are widely used by counter-intelligence investigators in other countries.

(Reporting by Mark Hosenball; Editing by Mark Heinrich)

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Fleetwood Mac readies tour and new music

NEW YORK (AP) — Fleetwood Mac is heading back on the road, and that means the top-selling group will release new music — sort of.

On its 34-city North American tour, which kicks off April 4 in Columbus, Ohio, the band will perform two new songs, and it could mean a new album will follow. Or not.

Stevie Nicks recently sang on tracks that Lindsey Buckingham, Mick Fleetwood and John McVie worked on, calling the sessions "great." But Nicks also says she's not sure where the band fits in today's music industry.

"Whether or not we're gonna do any more (songs), we don't know because we're so completely bummed out with the state of the music industry and the fact that nobody even wants a full record," she said. "Everybody wants two songs, so we're going to give them two songs."

Nicks said depending on the response to the new tracks — which Buckingham calls "the most Fleetwood Mac-y stuff ... in a long time" — more material could come next.

"Maybe we'll get an EP out of it or something," Buckingham said.

Nicks will continue to record solo albums, though. The group is celebrating the 35th anniversary of the best-selling "Rumours" album, which has moved some 20 million units in the United States. She knows that's not possible again, despite the success of Adele's "21," which has sold 10 million units in America in less than two years.

"This is Adele's 'Rumours,'" Nicks said. "She had a baby, she's going to take a year off to take care of her baby — that's why I never had any kids. She's going to go back and start writing again, you never know what the next record's going to be. Is it going to sell 10 million records? You don't know," she said.

Buckingham said he initially wanted to record a new album, but Nicks "wasn't too into that." But the guitarist and singer knows that new music isn't a priority for the band's fans.

"It wouldn't matter if they didn't hear anything new. In a way there's a freedom to that — it becomes not what you got, but what you do with what you got. Part of the challenge of this tour is figuring out a presentation that has some twists and turns to it without having a full album," he said.

Fleetwood Mac, which was formed in 1967, last released an album in 2003, though they hit the road in 2009. Nicks and Buckingham — who originally joined the band in 1974 as a couple — both released solo albums and toured last year. Buckingham had suggested that Fleetwood Mac tour last year, but says getting everyone to agree was tough.

"If you look at Fleetwood Mac as a group, you can make the case of saying we're a bunch of individuals who don't necessarily belong in the same group together, but it's the synergy of that that makes us so good. But it also makes the politics a little more tenuous," he said. "You can say that not only can it be a political minefield, someone's always causing trouble, right? I caused trouble for years so I can't point any fingers."

The tour also includes cities such as New York, Chicago, Boston, Las Vegas and Los Angeles, and will end June 12 in Detroit.

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Online:

http://www.fleetwoodmac.com/

You can follow Music Writer Mesfin Fekadu on Twitter at twitter.com/MusicMesfin

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Tapping citizen-scientists for a novel gut check

WASHINGTON (AP) — The bacterial zoo inside your gut could look very different if you're a vegetarian or an Atkins dieter, a couch potato or an athlete, fat or thin.

Now for a fee — $69 and up — and a stool sample, the curious can find out just what's living in their intestines and take part in one of the hottest new fields in science.

Wait a minute: How many average Joes really want to pay for the privilege of mailing such, er, intimate samples to scientists?

A lot, hope the researchers running two novel citizen-science projects.

One, the American Gut Project, aims to enroll 10,000 people — and a bunch of their dogs and cats too — from around the country. The other, uBiome, separately aims to enroll nearly 2,000 people from anywhere in the world.

"We're finally enabling people to realize the power and value of bacteria in our lives," said microbiologist Jack Gilbert of the University of Chicago and Argonne National Laboratory. He's one of a team of well-known scientists involved with the American Gut Project.

Don't be squeamish: Yes, we share our bodies with trillions of microbes, living communities called microbiomes. Many of the bugs, especially those in the intestinal tract, play indispensable roles in keeping us healthy, from good digestion to a robust immune system.

But which combinations of bacteria seem to keep us healthy? Which ones might encourage problems like obesity, diabetes or irritable bowel syndrome?

And do diet and lifestyle affect those microbes in ways that we might control someday?

Answering those questions will require studying vast numbers of people. Getting started with a grassroots movement makes sense, said National Institutes of Health microbiologist Lita Proctor, who isn't involved with the new projects but is watching closely.

After all, there was much interest in the taxpayer-funded Human Microbiome Project, which last summer provided the first glimpse of what makes up a healthy bacterial community in a few hundred volunteers.

Proctor, who coordinated that project, had worried "there would be a real ick factor. That has not been the case," she said. Many people "want to engage in improving their health."

Scott Jackisch, a computer consultant in Oakland, Calif., ran across American Gut while exploring the science behind different diets, and signed up last week. He's read with fascination earlier microbiome research: "Most of the genetic matter in what we consider ourselves is not human, and that's crazy. I wanted to learn about that."

Testing a single stool sample costs $99 in that project, but he picked a three-sample deal for $260 to compare his own bacterial makeup after eating various foods.

"I want to be extra, extra well," said Jackisch, 42. Differing gut microbes may be the reason "there's no one magic bullet of diet that people can eat and be healthy."

It's clear that people's gut bacteria can change over time. What this new research could accomplish is a first look at how different diets may play a role, said American Gut lead researcher Rob Knight of the University of Colorado, Boulder.

One challenge is making sure participants don't expect that a map of their gut bacteria can predict their future health, or suggest lifestyle changes, anytime soon.

"I understand I'm not going to be able to say, 'Oh, my gosh, I'll be susceptible to this,'" said Bradley Heinz, 26, a financial consultant in San Francisco. He is paying uBiome $119 to analyze both his gut and mouth microbiomes; just the gut is $69.

"The more people that participate, the more information comes out and the more that everybody benefits," he added.

Participants can sign up for either project via the social fundraising site Indiegogo.com over the next month. They also can send scrapings from the skin, mouth and other sites, to analyze that bacteria. Sign up enough family members or body sites, or be tracked over time, and the price can rise into the thousands. American Gut researchers plan some free testing for those who can't afford the fees, to try to increase the experiment's diversity.

Don't forget the pets: "We sleep with them, play with them, they often eat our food," said American Gut co-founder Jeff Leach, an anthropologist. What bacteria we have in common is the next logical question.

Already, American Gut researchers are preparing to compare what they find in the typical U.S. gut with a few hundred people in rural Namibia, who eat what's described as hunter-gatherer fare. Also, Leach will spend three months living in Namibia next year, and is storing his own stool samples for before-and-after comparison.

But diet isn't the only factor. Your bacterial makeup starts at birth: Babies absorb different microbes when they're born vaginally than when they're born by C-section, a possible explanation for why cesareans raise the risk for certain infections. Taking antibiotics, especially in early childhood, can alter this teeming inner world, and it's not clear if there are lasting consequences.

Then there's your environment, such as the infections spread in hospitals. In February, a new University of Chicago hospital building opens and Gilbert will test the surfaces, the patients and their health workers to see how quickly bad bugs can move in and identify which bacteria are protective.

Whatever the findings, all the research marks "a huge teachable moment" about how we interact with microbes, Leach said.

___

EDITOR'S NOTE — Lauran Neergaard covers health and medical issues for The Associated Press in Washington.

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Online:

www.indiegogo.com/americangut

www.indiegogo.com/ubiome

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GOP senator: Boehner’s budget proposal ‘will destroy American jobs’

South Carolina Republican Sen. Jim DeMint (Win McNamee/Getty Images)

WASHINGTON—South Carolina Republican Sen. Jim DeMint just gave Democrats a shiny new talking point.

The tea party-backed senator on Tuesday slammed House Republican leaders for the fiscal cliff proposal they offered earlier this week.

"Speaker [John] Boehner's $800 billion tax hike will destroy American jobs and allow politicians in Washington to spend even more, while not reducing our $16 trillion debt by a single penny," DeMint said in a statement. "This isn't rocket science. Everyone knows that when you take money out of the economy, it destroys jobs, and everyone knows that when you give politicians more money, they spend it. This is why Republicans must oppose tax increases and insist on real spending reductions that shrink the size of government and allow Americans to keep more of their hard-earned money."

Republican House leaders on Monday sent a letter to the White House with a plan to avoid a series of automatic tax increases and spending cuts set to begin on Jan. 1, 2013. With a 10-year price tag of about $2.2 trillion, the Republican proposal would raise federal revenue by closing loopholes and capping deductions within the tax code and making changes to entitlement programs. The letter was signed by seven House leaders, including Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan of Wisconsin and Ways and Means Committee Chairman Dave Camp of Michigan.

Democrats dismissed it quickly, calling for a bill that would increase taxes on households earning more than $250,000 per year and more federal spending on infrastructure, which were not included in the Republican plan.

DeMint's comment may be a bit of a sideshow—he's not directly involved in the negotiations and he represents just a single vote in Congress—but it's representative of how conservatives feel about the Republican proposal, and it offers ample ammunition to President Barack Obama and Democrats in the fiscal cliff media relations war.

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Gunman severely wounds Swedish woman in Pakistan

LAHORE, Pakistan (AP) — Pakistani police say a gunman on a motorcycle has shot and critically wounded a Swedish woman in the eastern city of Lahore.

Police officer Malik Awais says the woman, Bargetta Emmi, was getting out of her car in front of her home when she was shot in the neck by an unknown assailant Monday. Her servants reported the incident to police.

Awais says Emmi was director of FGA Church (Full Gospel Assemblies of Pakistan).

The Swedish Embassy in Islamabad confirmed a Swedish woman was shot and has severe injuries but provided no other details.

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Palace says Duchess of Cambridge expecting a baby

LONDON (AP) — Get the nursery ready: Prince William and his wife Catherine are expecting their first child.

St. James's Palace announced the pregnancy Monday, saying that the Duchess of Cambridge — formerly known as Kate Middleton — has a severe form of morning sickness and is currently in a London hospital. William is at his wife's side.

The palace said that since the pregnancy is in its "very early stages," the 30-year-old duchess is expected to stay in the hospital for several days and will require a period of rest afterward.

William is second in line to the throne after his father, Prince Charles, so the couple's first child would normally become monarch in due course.

In recent days, Middleton has kept up royal appearances — recently playing field hockey with schoolchildren at her former school.

The confirmation of her pregnancy caps a jam-packed year of highs and lows for the young royals, who were married in a lavish ceremony at Westminster Abbey last year.

They have traveled the world extensively as part of Queen Elizabeth II's diamond jubilee celebrations and weathered the embarrassment of a nude photos scandal, after a tabloid snapper published topless images of the duchess.

Joe Little, managing editor of Majesty magazine, said the news bookended a year that saw the royal family riding high in popular esteem after celebrations of Queen Elizabeth II's 60 years on the throne.

"We're riding on a royal high at the moment at the end of the diamond jubilee year," he said. "People enjoyed the royal romance last year and now there's this. It's just a good news story amid all the doom and gloom."

Speculation about when William and his bride would start a family has been rife since their wedding.

William's mother — the late Princess Diana — got pregnant just four months after her wedding in 1981. Like Kate, Diana reportedly suffered from morning sickness for months and complained of constant media attention.

"The whole world is watching my stomach", Diana once said.

American tabloid speculation of the pregnancy has been rampant for months. One newspaper even cited anonymous sources talking about Kate's hormone levels. Others have focused on the first signs of the royal bump.

News of the pregnancy drew congratulations from across the U.K. establishment.

The palace said the royal family was "delighted" by the news, while Prime Minister David Cameron wrote on Twitter that the royals "will make wonderful parents."

Not only are the attractive young couple popular — with William's easy common touch reminding many of his mother, the late Princess Diana — but their child is expected to play an important role in British national life for decades to come.

Whether boy or girl, the child will be next in line behind William in the line of succession to the throne, Cabinet Office officials have said.

Leaders of Britain and the 15 former colonies that have the monarch as their head of state agreed in 2011 to new rules which give females equal status with males in the order of succession.

Although none of the nations had legislated to make the change as of September 2012, the British Cabinet Office confirmed that this is now the de-facto rule.

On the couple's tour of Malaysia, Singapore, the Solomon Islands and Tuvalu in September, William reportedly said he hoped he and Kate would have two children.

___

Associated Press writers Jill Lawless and Paisley Dodds contributed to this report.

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US envoy hits China's stand in UN climate talks

DOHA, Qatar (AP) — The United States on Monday challenged China's view of how to split the burden of curbing carbon emissions, saying the rich-poor divide in past climate agreements has no place in a future pact to fight global warming.

The U.S. envoy to international climate talks in Qatar, Todd Stern, said that the next climate deal must be based on "real-world" considerations, not "an ideology that says we're going to draw a line down the middle of the world."

Beijing wants to maintain a division between developed and developing nations, setting out softer emissions-cutting requirements for poorer countries. It notes that despite its roaring growth, millions of Chinese still live in poverty, and emission limits would slow the economic expansion that would improve their lot.

The climate pact is one of the key issues under discussion at the United Nations-led talks, which have entered their second week. Last year, governments agreed it should be adopted by 2015 and take effect five years later. The U.S. didn't join the only binding emissions agreement to date, the 1997 Kyoto Protocol, because it only covered industrialized nations and not major developing countries like India and China, which is now the world's biggest carbon emitter.

"It's going to be an enormously challenging, and I think enormously important, task to get this agreement right," Stern said.

The dispute will not be resolved in Doha, where negotiators are focusing on side issues including aid to help poor countries shift to renewable energy and protect themselves from rising sea levels and other effects of global warming.

They also plan to extend the Kyoto agreement, which expires this year, until a new treaty is in place. But several nations including Japan and New Zealand don't want to be part of the extension, meaning it will only cover European countries and Australia, which account for less than 15 percent of global emissions.

Even that has been complicated by disputes over whether emissions allowances granted to Poland and other eastern European countries to offset the early economic fallout after the collapse of communism should carry over into the second phase.

U.N. climate chief Christiana Figueres told reporters that people shouldn't expect the talks to yield success overnight because they deal with "a complete transformation of the economic structure of the world" — a shift from fossil fuels to renewable energy.

"What gives me frustration is the fact that we are very far behind what science tells us we should be doing," she said. "What gives me hope is the fact that ... over the past two to three years, this process has had more progress than it did in the past 10."

EU climate commissioner Connie Hedegaard said she would raise a host of side issues at a round-table discussion with environment ministers this week, including how to reduce subsidies for fossil fuels. Even though the G-20 group of industrialized and emerging nations called for the phasing-out of such subsidies already in 2009, the International Energy Agency recently said they grew 30 percent last year to $523 billion, primarily due to increases in the Middle East and Africa.

"It has been discussed for three years or more," Hedegaard said. "Now we need to start the phasing out."

In addition to the fuel subsidies in developing countries, rich nations in 2011 gave more than $58 billion in tax breaks and other production subsidies to oil and coal companies, according to a report Monday by Oil Change International, an advocacy group for clean energy. The U.S. figure was $13 billion.

Stern said that President Barack Obama has pushed for reducing fossil fuel subsidies domestically and internationally.

"It's difficult in other countries and it's difficult at home to carry it forward because there are a lot of entrenched interests," he said.

While he highlighted U.S. initiatives undertaken during Obama's first term — such as sharply increasing fuel efficiency standards for cars and trucks and investing in green energy — Stern noted that more ambitious climate legislation had stalled in Congress and that shifts in the U.S. climate position should not be expected following Obama's re-election.

"I don't know if I would think about this in terms of a different tone here," he said. "The U.S. has done quite significant things in the president's first four years."

Climate talks are scheduled to end on Friday.

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Pacific nations alarmed by tuna overfishing

MANILA, Philippines (AP) — Pacific island nations and environmentalists raised an alarm Sunday over destructive fishing methods and overfishing that they say are threatening bigeye tuna — the fish popular among sushi lovers worldwide.

Palau fisheries official Nanette Malsol, who leads a bloc of Pacific island nations, said at the start of a weeklong tuna fisheries conference in Manila that large countries should cut back on fishing, curb the use of destructive fishing methods and respect fishing bans to allow tuna stocks to be replenished in the Pacific, which produces more than 60 percent of the world's tuna catch.

The annual meeting of the Western and Central Pacific Fisheries Commission, which regulates commercial fishing in the vast expanse of waters from Indonesia to Hawaii, is to approve steps aimed at protecting the bigeye and other threatened tuna species, along with giant whale sharks. More than 600 delegates from about 40 Asian and Western countries, along with environmental activists, are attending.

Malsol said she expects heated debate. Proponents of the multibillion-dollar fishing industry have squared off with conservationists in the past over the best ways to protect the bigeye and other species without considerably setting back the lucrative business.

Bigeye and yellowfin tuna, which can grow to 8-9 feet (2.4-2.7 meters) long and weigh more than 450 pounds (200 kilograms), are not in immediate danger of being wiped out, but have been hit hard by overfishing. The fish are used mostly for steaks, and in the case of bigeye, sushi.

The fisheries business in the western and central Pacific region, estimated to be worth about $5 billion annually, has drawn increasing numbers of industrial fishing fleets, which have caused tuna stocks to fall since the 1960s.

"This week it's up to the big fishing nations to show the world what they are going to do to cut overfishing of bigeye tuna," Malsol said.

Repeated telephone calls and messages to industry officials seeking comment Sunday were not answered.

Many fleets are using so-called "fish aggregation devices" — various types of floats which are used to lure vast numbers of tuna. When schools of tuna have massed under the devices, fishing vessels alerted by sensors approach and scoop up their catch with giant nets.

Between 47,000 and 105,000 fish aggregation devices, made from bamboo, palm fronds, plastic or old nets, have been deployed worldwide to attract a wide variety of marine life. The method is used to catch nearly half of the world's tuna and has contributed to the overfishing of bigeye tuna across the Pacific Ocean, according to the U.S.-based Pew Environment Group.

Aside from tuna, sea turtles, sharks and juvenile fish have often been caught and killed.

"The deployment of tens of thousands of drifting fish aggregating devices in the world's oceans with little to no oversight is extremely worrisome," said Amanda Nickson of the Pew Environment Group.

"The fishing industry is not currently required to account for its use of FADs. It is being allowed to gamble with the health of the ocean, and it is time for governments to require full accountability and management of this proliferating and risky fishing gear," Nickson said.

Conservation efforts, however, have been tough to implement and have sparked disagreements.

Greepeace activists said they will submit evidence to the fisheries commission detailing violations of regional tuna fishing rules by Southeast Asian countries including allowing fishing vessels to operate on the high seas without permits and required observers onboard.

A decision by the fisheries commission to exempt the Philippines from purse seine fishing — an industrial technique in which a net is used to surround and capture schools of fish — in a large swath of the Pacific has sparked complaints from other nations.

The exemption was given to discourage Philippine fleets from fishing in territorial waters off the country's eastern coast, which are known spawning grounds for tuna that later spread out to the Pacific.

Philippine Agriculture Secretary Proceso Alcala asked the fishing commission to extend the exemption, which he said started last October and would end in February next year.

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7 Quirky Christmas Gift Ideas

‘Tis the season to give…bacon-shaped Christmas tree ornaments? Stocking-stuffer candy simulating black lumps of coal? Crime scene tape for wrapping packages? How about a dreidel with Santa’s picture on it?

Yes to all these and more, say fans of quirky gifts.

Online retailers specializing in leg-lamps–the kind made famous by the movie “A Christmas Story”–and in Emergency Santa Kits say business is brisk.

Seattle novelty-seller Archie McPhee, for instance, which makes the Emergency Santa Kit, reports its business is up 20 percent from last year. Each Kit contains an inflatable white beard and red hat. “It’s in case you’re ever on an airplane flight and you suddenly have to play Santa,” explains McPhee’s spokesperson and self-styled Director of Awesomeness, David Wall.

Anything involving bacon, he says, has been selling well—so well that McPhee dedicates a portion of its website to bacon-inspired items, including candy canes, ornaments and toothpaste.

“People just naturally enjoy bacon,” he says. “At a time when everybody is so health-conscious, it’s become a kind of ‘rebel’ food. It seems naughty. To our customers, bacon has become a sign of rebellion against the status quo.”

Online retailer Perpetual Kid sells black, lump-shaped candy-coal. Says vice president Wendy Paula, “We’re definitely seeing people looking for silly products this year—things you buy for their ‘smile value.’ Candy coal has been Christmas season favorite for us for years.” She herself grew up with it. “It’s just got to be in your stocking.”

Unlike some novelty purveyors, says Paula, Perpetual Kid, shies away from anything that could be considered offensive or in bad taste. Not so Things You Never Knew Existed, a website that appears to have cornered the market on flatulent-Santa items. These include a Pull My Finger Santa’ and a spherical ornament simulating Santa’s buttocks.

For a slideshow of quirky items appropriate (or not) for holiday giving, read on.

“The world’s only beanie with a built-in beard,” trumpets website Fab.com. The tightly-knit cap and attached face-warmer is perfect for snowball fights, says the site, and will keep any chin warm on the coldest of days. “A great gift for the facial-hair challenged.” ($ 29)

Website for Perpetual Kid calls this cinnamon-flavored candy coal the perfect stocking stuffer: “You can always tell who has been naughty Christmas morning, since this candy will temporarily turn your mouth blue! Great for office parties and gift exchanges.” ($ 4.49)

The dreidel depicts Santa on one side, a Christmas tree on the other. “Don’t choose between Christmas and Hanukkah,” says Archie McPhee’s website. “Choose Chrismukkah! Imagine the fun you’ll have playing the dreidel game by the light of the menorah while waiting for Santa and his reindeer to arrive.” ($ 4.50)

“Big bacon flavor in a candy cane,” promises Archie McPhee. Canes come in both regular size and colossal. Of the collosal, the site says, “If there were a king of bacon, this would be his scepter. It’s bacon-y Christmas perfection.” For proper dental hygiene, you’ll want to brush afterwards with bacon-flavored toothpaste, also available on the website. (Colossal cane, $ 5.00)

Archie McPhee doesn’t explicitly recommend this tape for sealing up the seams of wrapping paper you have used to decorate your gifts—but just think how festive and disturbing it will look underneath the tree. Alternatively, says the website, you can use it to “mark off the scene of an itty-bitty murder.” ($ 4.50).

Christmas-in-a-tin, Archie McPhee calls its Emergency Santa Kit. “Let’s say you’re on a long flight, and everyone around you is frowning and grumpy,” says the site. Each Kit contains an inflatable white beard and jaunty Santa hat. “Just open the tin, inflate the beard, put on the hat, and shake your belly like a bowl full o’ jelly.” Before you know it, “Everyone will be sitting on your lap.” ($ 12.00)

The morning after Christmas you’ll run no risk of oversleeping if someone has been kind enough to give you this especially aggressive alarm clock. Hit its snooze button once too often, and Clocky takes matters into its own hands (or feet) by rolling away from you on powered wheels. “It will literally jump off your nightstand and scurry way, forcing you to get up out of bed and go get it to turn it off,” says a spokesperson for novelty retailer Fab.com. ($ 45.00)

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Letterman up for jabs with Kennedy Center Honors

WASHINGTON (AP) — David Letterman's "stupid human tricks" and Top 10 lists are being vaulted into the ranks of cultural achievements as the late night comedian receives this year's Kennedy Center Honors with six other artists.

Letterman will share the honors Sunday night with Dustin Hoffman, the rock band Led Zeppelin, Chicago bluesman Buddy Guy and ballerina Natalia Makarova.

President Barack Obama will host the honorees at the White House before they are saluted by fellow performers in a show to be broadcast Dec. 26 on CBS.

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton says she and Letterman have a history. At a dinner for the artists Saturday night, she said she's been a guest on his show several times, but if you include references to her pant suits, she's on every week.

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